And it came to pass, in the twenty and fourth month of my mission, nigh two years since the time that I did depart from the land of my fathers, I did wax old, and I began to ponder continually on the course of my days.
I here make an end of my record, and do offer it up unto all who will hear me:
Folks, it's been real.
This mission has changed me. I'm not the same kid that shuffled awkwardly into the MTC.
The mission is the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I'm really not looking forward to leaving it. I've had more joy, pain, and awesomeness in two years than I have the eighteen years prior to that.
I LOVE THIS WORK!
There really is a God, this really is His church, and I really am His missionary. :)
To one and all, I wish I could let you know that you don't have to worry about it. THERE IS A GOD. You don't have to fake it, you don't have to deny it. You can know. I did.
No matter how were raised, inside or outside the church, we all reach a point in our lives where we have to make a choice.
1-Deny that there is a God
2-Pretend that we believe, and spend the rest of our lives faking it
3-Really find out that God exists
To those who deny it, may I suggest that it's because you haven't asked the right questions. If you want to know if there is a God, you've got to be ready to put it all on the table. You'll need to fully accept that there might be a God, and there might not be. When you have fully opened yourself up, ask God if He exists. Then, observe the world around you for some time (possibly days). I swear, you will start to see things just "work out" all around you. It will BLOW YOUR MIND. Things will arrange in perfect order, to bring you your answer. It could be the words of someone you talk to, a few words you read, a growing internal clarity, or perhaps (in a few rare cases) a divine revelation directly from heaven. Whatever form the answer comes, I promise that it will come, and it will come every time you ask.
I've discovered that there are so many poor folks who have been faking it for years. Trying to cover up the fact that they do not know by saying all of the right things, at all of the right times. They continue to try and not worry about it, while continuing to attend church, read scriptures, and do everything that a "good Christian" should. They stay active on the grounds that "the church has a great family program", "it makes me a better person", or perhaps "the doctrine makes a lot of sense". There are so many who are plagued with this hellish life, and I wish that I could just tell everyone: "It doesn't have to be like this!"
There IS a God. He really does exist. DON'T BE AFRAID TO ASK. He will answer. I promise. It works. And it works every time. :)
I know that God lives, I know that this church is God's Church, I know that we can get answers to prayer, and I know that this life is not the end.
Love ya bye, love ya bye!